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Sonia, Sonia Marmeladov, the eternal victim so long as the
world lasts. Have you taken the measure of your sacrifice, both of you? Is it
right? Can you bear it? Is it any use? Is there sense in it? And let me tell
you, Dounia, Sonia's life is no worse than life with Mr. Luzhin. 'There can be
no question of love' mother writes. And what if there can be no respect either,
if on the contrary there is aversion, contempt, repulsion, what then? So you
will have to 'keep up your appearance,' too. Is that not so? Do you understand
what that smartness means? Do you understand that the Luzhin smartness is just
the same thing as Sonia's and may be worse, viler, baser, because in your case,
Dounia, it's a bargain for luxuries, after all, but with Sonia it's simply a
question of starvation.
Is that not so? Do you understand what that
smartness means? Do you understand that the Luzhin smartness is just the same
thing as Sonia's and may be worse, viler, baser, because in your case, Dounia,
it's a bargain for luxuries, after all, but with Sonia it's simply a question of
starvation. It has to be paid for, it has to be paid for, Dounia, this
smartness. And what if it's more than you can bear afterwards, if you regret it?
The bitterness, the misery, the curses, the tears hidden from all the world, for
you are not a Marfa Petrovna.
And how will your mother feel then? Even
now she is uneasy, she is worried, but then, when she sees it all clearly? And
I? Yes, indeed, what have you taken me for? I won't have your sacrifice, Dounia,
I won't have it, mother! It shall not be, so long as I am alive, it shall not,
it shall not! I won't accept it!" He suddenly paused in his reflection and stood
still. "It shall not be? But what are you going to do to prevent it? You'll
forbid it? And what right have you? What can you promise them on your side to
give you such a right? Your whole life, your whole future, you will devote to
them when you have finished your studies and obtained a post? Yes, we have heard
all that before, and that's all words, but now? Now something must be done, now,
do you understand that? And what are you doing now? You are living upon
them.
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